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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Even
Welfare
Participated
Work
Mom
Governmental
Kind
Program
Stamp
Never
Ones
Scholarship
Like
Fine
Stamps
Food
Occasional
Education
Managed
Whatever
Programs
Scholarships

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I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
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