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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Work
Mom
Governmental
Kind
Program
Stamp
Never
Ones
Scholarship
Like
Fine
Stamps
Food
Occasional
Education
Managed
Whatever
Programs
Scholarships
Even
Welfare
Participated

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If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.
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You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
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I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
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