Quote

Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.

Adam Carolla

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Funny
Good
Delusional
Batting
Average
Usually
Pretty
Maybe

More quotes by Adam Carolla

Image
When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
Adam Carolla
Image
Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
Adam Carolla
Image
I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
Adam Carolla
Image
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
Adam Carolla
Image
Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
Adam Carolla
Image
My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
Adam Carolla
Image
He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
Adam Carolla
Image
If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
Adam Carolla
Image
I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
Adam Carolla
Image
If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
Adam Carolla
Image
I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
Adam Carolla
Image
I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
Adam Carolla
Image
I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
Adam Carolla
Image
That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
Adam Carolla
Image
I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
Adam Carolla
Image
I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
Adam Carolla
Image
What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
Adam Carolla
Image
My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
Adam Carolla
Image
I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
Adam Carolla
Image
I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
Adam Carolla