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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Pretty
Maybe
Funny
Good
Delusional
Batting
Average
Usually
More quotes by Adam Carolla
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
Adam Carolla
People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
Adam Carolla
If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
Adam Carolla
I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
Adam Carolla
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
Adam Carolla
He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
Adam Carolla
If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
Adam Carolla
The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.
Adam Carolla
Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
Adam Carolla
No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
Adam Carolla
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
Adam Carolla
All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
Adam Carolla
The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
Adam Carolla
Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.
Adam Carolla
You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
Adam Carolla
I've got a great eye for color. I'm like a chick.
Adam Carolla
When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
Adam Carolla
If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
Adam Carolla
There are certain things women are better at than men.
Adam Carolla
What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
Adam Carolla
