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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Funny
Good
Delusional
Batting
Average
Usually
Pretty
Maybe
More quotes by Adam Carolla
I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
Adam Carolla
I get depressed at airports.
Adam Carolla
I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
Adam Carolla
I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.
Adam Carolla
You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
Adam Carolla
Welfare is monetary methadone.
Adam Carolla
Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
Adam Carolla
All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
Adam Carolla
People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
Adam Carolla
I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
Adam Carolla
I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
Adam Carolla
If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
Adam Carolla
I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
Adam Carolla
When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
Adam Carolla
I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
Adam Carolla
Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
Adam Carolla
When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
Adam Carolla
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
Adam Carolla
Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything they just don't vote that way.
Adam Carolla
Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
Adam Carolla
