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If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Hollywood
Place
Need
Needs
People
List
Lists
Conservative
More quotes by Adam Carolla
Don’t do your best, do my best.
Adam Carolla
I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
Adam Carolla
If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
Adam Carolla
All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
Adam Carolla
If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
Adam Carolla
You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
Adam Carolla
When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
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You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
Adam Carolla
Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
Adam Carolla
Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
Adam Carolla
The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.
Adam Carolla
Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
Adam Carolla
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
Adam Carolla
I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
Adam Carolla
He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
Adam Carolla
We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
Adam Carolla
The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
Adam Carolla
Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
Adam Carolla
When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
Adam Carolla