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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Valley
Valleys
Blue
Guy
Collar
Collars

More quotes by Adam Carolla

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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
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You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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I get depressed at airports.
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I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.
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I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
Adam Carolla
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
Adam Carolla
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No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
Adam Carolla
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
Adam Carolla
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
Adam Carolla
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
Adam Carolla