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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Blue
Guy
Collar
Collars
Valley
Valleys

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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.
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I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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