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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Collar
Collars
Valley
Valleys
Blue
Guy
More quotes by Adam Carolla
Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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I don't know anything about computers.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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When you do television, there's more to do, and when you do new television, there's a lot more to do, especially when you don't have partner. I miss not having that person.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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My motto is more mystery, less history.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.
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Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
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