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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Blue
Guy
Collar
Collars
Valley
Valleys
More quotes by Adam Carolla
There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
Adam Carolla
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
Adam Carolla
Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
Adam Carolla
Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
Adam Carolla
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
Adam Carolla
People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.
Adam Carolla
My first car was a motorcycle.
Adam Carolla
I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
Adam Carolla
You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
Adam Carolla
I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
Adam Carolla
I know everything because I know nothing.
Adam Carolla
I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
Adam Carolla
You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
Adam Carolla
Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
Adam Carolla
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
Adam Carolla
I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
Adam Carolla
People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
Adam Carolla
If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'
Adam Carolla
I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
Adam Carolla
Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
Adam Carolla
