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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Main
Horrible
Experiences
Learned
Jobs
Thing

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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
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I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians I'm just not a reader.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.
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All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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