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I know everything because I know nothing.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Everything
Nothing
More quotes by Adam Carolla
Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
Adam Carolla
I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
Adam Carolla
I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
Adam Carolla
I am not a good cue card reader.
Adam Carolla
If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
Adam Carolla
When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
Adam Carolla
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
Adam Carolla
That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?
Adam Carolla
Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
Adam Carolla
Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
Adam Carolla
People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
Adam Carolla
Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
Adam Carolla
People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.
Adam Carolla
Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
Adam Carolla
To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.
Adam Carolla
I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
Adam Carolla
I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
Adam Carolla
I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.
Adam Carolla
I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
Adam Carolla
Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.
Adam Carolla