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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Difference
Humor
Comedy
Differences
Days
Canada
Funny
Drunk
Something
Guess
Time
Worked
More quotes by Adam Carolla
Everyone keeps saying, Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating. It's like saying, How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt? I don't care.
Adam Carolla
You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
Adam Carolla
You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
Adam Carolla
I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.
Adam Carolla
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
Adam Carolla
I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
Adam Carolla
Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
Adam Carolla
My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
Adam Carolla
The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
Adam Carolla
It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
Adam Carolla
I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
Adam Carolla
I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.
Adam Carolla
If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
Adam Carolla
I get depressed at airports.
Adam Carolla
Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
Adam Carolla
The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
Adam Carolla
If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
Adam Carolla
My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
Adam Carolla
Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
Adam Carolla
In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
Adam Carolla