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If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Idea
Aware
Two
Absolutely
Ideas
Humor
Ever
Relationship
Going
Comedy
Things
Guy
Time
Getting
Funny
Laid
More quotes by Adam Carolla
I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
Adam Carolla
I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
Adam Carolla
I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.
Adam Carolla
I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
Adam Carolla
I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
Adam Carolla
I'd never hurt another person.
Adam Carolla
That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?
Adam Carolla
I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.
Adam Carolla
Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
Adam Carolla
The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
Adam Carolla
Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
Adam Carolla
If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
Adam Carolla
I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
Adam Carolla
Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
Adam Carolla
I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
Adam Carolla
I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
Adam Carolla
It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
Adam Carolla
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
Adam Carolla
People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
Adam Carolla
A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.
Adam Carolla
