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If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Idea
Aware
Two
Absolutely
Ideas
Humor
Ever
Relationship
Going
Comedy
Things
Guy
Time
Getting
Funny
Laid
More quotes by Adam Carolla
Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine I just happen to be from that world.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
Adam Carolla
I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
Adam Carolla
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
Adam Carolla
If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
Adam Carolla
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
Adam Carolla