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If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Ever
Relationship
Going
Comedy
Things
Guy
Time
Getting
Funny
Laid
Idea
Aware
Two
Absolutely
Ideas
Humor

More quotes by Adam Carolla

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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
Adam Carolla
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I've got a great eye for color. I'm like a chick.
Adam Carolla
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I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
Adam Carolla
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I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine I just happen to be from that world.
Adam Carolla
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I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
Adam Carolla
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
Adam Carolla
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I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
Adam Carolla
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Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
Adam Carolla
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My first car was a motorcycle.
Adam Carolla
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
Adam Carolla
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
Adam Carolla
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.
Adam Carolla
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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
Adam Carolla
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
Adam Carolla
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Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
Adam Carolla
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I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
Adam Carolla
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
Adam Carolla
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
Adam Carolla
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
Adam Carolla
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
Adam Carolla