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If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Ideas
Humor
Ever
Relationship
Going
Comedy
Things
Guy
Time
Getting
Funny
Laid
Idea
Aware
Two
Absolutely

More quotes by Adam Carolla

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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.
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You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
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If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'
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I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
Adam Carolla
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If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
Adam Carolla
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
Adam Carolla
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
Adam Carolla
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I don't know anything about computers.
Adam Carolla
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I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.
Adam Carolla
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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