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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Thoughts
Humor
Comedy
Funny
Next
Two
Never
More quotes by Adam Carolla
People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.
Adam Carolla
A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
Adam Carolla
I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
Adam Carolla
Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
Adam Carolla
Welfare is monetary methadone.
Adam Carolla
If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
Adam Carolla
The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
Adam Carolla
It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
Adam Carolla
Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
Adam Carolla
I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
Adam Carolla
I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
Adam Carolla
I don't know anything about computers.
Adam Carolla
I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
Adam Carolla
All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
Adam Carolla
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
Adam Carolla
Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
Adam Carolla
There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
Adam Carolla
That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
Adam Carolla
If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
Adam Carolla
Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
Adam Carolla
