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Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Guilt
Sex
Wouldn
Men
Screw
Screws
Bother
Atheist

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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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I get depressed at airports.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'
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You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
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I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.
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When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
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That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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