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When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Take
Picking
Odds
Basketball
Brother
Playing
Team
Guy
More quotes by Adam Carolla
Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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I'd never hurt another person.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
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If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
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The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.
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I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine I just happen to be from that world.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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