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All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Aren
Humor
Middle
Funny
Nothing
Really
Glad
More quotes by Adam Carolla
Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.
Adam Carolla
When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
Adam Carolla
Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
Adam Carolla
If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
Adam Carolla
I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
Adam Carolla
I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.
Adam Carolla
To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.
Adam Carolla
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
Adam Carolla
You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
Adam Carolla
The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
Adam Carolla
I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
Adam Carolla
I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
Adam Carolla
Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
Adam Carolla
All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
Adam Carolla
Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!
Adam Carolla
[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
Adam Carolla
Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
Adam Carolla
The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.
Adam Carolla
I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
Adam Carolla
You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
Adam Carolla
