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All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Glad
Aren
Humor
Middle
Funny
Nothing
Really
More quotes by Adam Carolla
There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
Adam Carolla
I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
Adam Carolla
I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine I just happen to be from that world.
Adam Carolla
I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
Adam Carolla
You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
Adam Carolla
Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
Adam Carolla
Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
Adam Carolla
If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
Adam Carolla
Everyone keeps saying, Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating. It's like saying, How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt? I don't care.
Adam Carolla
Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
Adam Carolla
People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
Adam Carolla
If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
Adam Carolla
Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
Adam Carolla
I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
Adam Carolla
Don’t do your best, do my best.
Adam Carolla
He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
Adam Carolla
When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
Adam Carolla
When you do television, there's more to do, and when you do new television, there's a lot more to do, especially when you don't have partner. I miss not having that person.
Adam Carolla
I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
Adam Carolla
I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
Adam Carolla
