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I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Whatever
Tea
Like
Understand
Soft
World
Makes
Soccer
Look
Coffee
Looks
Everywhere
Way
Biggest
Telling
Pussies
Think
Drink
Pussy
Thinking
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.
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I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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My motto is more mystery, less history.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
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Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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