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I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Looks
Everywhere
Way
Biggest
Think
Telling
Pussies
Thinking
Drink
Pussy
Like
Whatever
Tea
World
Understand
Soft
Makes
Soccer
Look
Coffee
More quotes by Adam Carolla
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything they just don't vote that way.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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My motto is more mystery, less history.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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Everyone keeps saying, Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating. It's like saying, How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt? I don't care.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians I'm just not a reader.
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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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