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You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Takes
Funny
Microwave
Anything
Microwaves
Shouldn
Six
Eating
Humor
Minutes
More quotes by Adam Carolla
If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
Adam Carolla
Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
Adam Carolla
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
Adam Carolla
If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
Adam Carolla
I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
Adam Carolla
I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
Adam Carolla
If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
Adam Carolla
My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
Adam Carolla
I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
Adam Carolla
That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
Adam Carolla
The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.
Adam Carolla
I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.
Adam Carolla
I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.
Adam Carolla
[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
Adam Carolla
Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
Adam Carolla
I get depressed at airports.
Adam Carolla
I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
Adam Carolla
If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
Adam Carolla
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
Adam Carolla
The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
Adam Carolla
