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You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Humor
Minutes
Takes
Funny
Microwave
Anything
Microwaves
Shouldn
Six
Eating
More quotes by Adam Carolla
I don't know anything about computers.
Adam Carolla
I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
Adam Carolla
There are certain things women are better at than men.
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I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
Adam Carolla
I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
Adam Carolla
A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
Adam Carolla
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
Adam Carolla
My first car was a motorcycle.
Adam Carolla
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
Adam Carolla
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
Adam Carolla
I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
Adam Carolla
I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
Adam Carolla
I get depressed at airports.
Adam Carolla
What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
Adam Carolla
If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
Adam Carolla
If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
Adam Carolla
People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
Adam Carolla
I know everything because I know nothing.
Adam Carolla
The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
Adam Carolla
