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You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Good
Walk
Never
Walks
Name
Feeling
Names
Looking
Feelings
Cruise
Away
Internet

More quotes by Adam Carolla

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Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine I just happen to be from that world.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
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Everyone keeps saying, Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating. It's like saying, How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt? I don't care.
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Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
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If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'
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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
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If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
Adam Carolla