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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
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People
Millions
Sound
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Well
Right
Smartest
Mean
Insane
Things
Million
More quotes by Adam Carolla
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
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It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
Adam Carolla
