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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
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Carolla
Adam Corrolla
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Adam Carolla
Posts
Office
Probably
Passion
Infused
Sense
Renewed
Place
Vigor
Wells
Patriotism
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.
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I've got a great eye for color. I'm like a chick.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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