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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Probably
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Renewed
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Vigor
Wells
Patriotism
Well
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Office
More quotes by Adam Carolla
My motto is more mystery, less history.
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You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine I just happen to be from that world.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
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All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I've got a great eye for color. I'm like a chick.
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That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
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I'm a comedian, not a politician.
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