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I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Turning
Wrenching
Car
Wrenches
Sort
Swinging
Guy
Bolts
Hammer
Hammers
Nuts
Cars
More quotes by Adam Carolla
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.
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I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.
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Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
Adam Carolla
