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I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Car
Unless
Least
Superstitious
Chance
Picking
Running
Chances
Take
Nose
Swear
Noses
More quotes by Adam Carolla
The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.
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You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
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If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'
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No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
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I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.
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You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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