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I don't know anything about computers.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Computers
Computer
Anything
More quotes by Adam Carolla
If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
Adam Carolla
You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
Adam Carolla
My motto is more mystery, less history.
Adam Carolla
It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
Adam Carolla
Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
Adam Carolla
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
Adam Carolla
I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
Adam Carolla
No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
Adam Carolla
A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.
Adam Carolla
I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
Adam Carolla
Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything they just don't vote that way.
Adam Carolla
Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
Adam Carolla
I'm a comedian, not a politician.
Adam Carolla
Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
Adam Carolla
Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
Adam Carolla
When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
Adam Carolla
Welfare is monetary methadone.
Adam Carolla
When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
Adam Carolla
I'd never hurt another person.
Adam Carolla
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
Adam Carolla
