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I don't know anything about computers.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Computers
Computer
Anything

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I'd never hurt another person.
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I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians I'm just not a reader.
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The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.
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The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.
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You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
Adam Carolla
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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
Adam Carolla
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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