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I am not a good cue card reader.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Card
Cards
Reader
Good
More quotes by Adam Carolla
I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
Adam Carolla
If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!
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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
Adam Carolla
I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
Adam Carolla
A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.
Adam Carolla
I'm a comedian, not a politician.
Adam Carolla
I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.
Adam Carolla
What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
Adam Carolla
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
Adam Carolla
I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
Adam Carolla
I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
Adam Carolla