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I am not a good cue card reader.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Card
Cards
Reader
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.
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He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.
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Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.
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All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.
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I'm a comedian, not a politician.
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
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When you do television, there's more to do, and when you do new television, there's a lot more to do, especially when you don't have partner. I miss not having that person.
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