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Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
People
Taxes
Pay
Courses
Course
Rich
Everyone
Doesn
Else
Tons

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If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.
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When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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