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If you are looking for a kindly, well-to-do older gentleman who is no longer interested in sex, take out an ad in The Wall Street Journal.

Abigail Van Buren

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Abigail Van Buren
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More quotes by Abigail Van Buren

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SO the richest are often the poorest as this saying goes, Loneliness is the ultimate poverty
Abigail Van Buren
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Some People are more turned on by money than they are by love. In one respect they're alike. They're both wonderful as long as they last.
Abigail Van Buren
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I agree that marijuana laws are overdue for an overhaul. I also favor the medical use of marijuana -- if it's prescribed by a physician. I cannot understand why the federal government should interfere with the doctor-patient relationship, nor why it would ignore the will of a majority of voters who have legally approved such legislation.
Abigail Van Buren
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If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.
Abigail Van Buren
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Never give a golfer an ultimatum unless you're prepared to lose.
Abigail Van Buren
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So yesterday you fell off the wagon? Or maybe you blew your diet? Or lost your temper and shot off your mouth? Well, that was yesterday. Today is a brand-new day with a clean slate, so forget yesterday!
Abigail Van Buren
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You could move.' ---Dear Abby responds to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood.
Abigail Van Buren
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Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to prove their love like a moose needs a hat rack.
Abigail Van Buren
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Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
Abigail Van Buren
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If you want a place in the sun, you have got to put up with a few blisters.
Abigail Van Buren
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The lack of faith is not doubt. It is certainty.
Abigail Van Buren
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It's true, some wine improves with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
Abigail Van Buren
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Maturity is the ability to do a job whether you're supervised or not finish a job once it's started carry money without spending it and the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.
Abigail Van Buren
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Women who miscalculate are called mothers.
Abigail Van Buren
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It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister.
Abigail Van Buren
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Never advise anyone to go to war or to get married.
Abigail Van Buren
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Believing that the dream of freedom, brotherhood, and peace for all mankind will someday come true.
Abigail Van Buren
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It is totally unconscionable to subject defenseless animals to mutilation and death, just so a company can be the first to market a new shade of nail polish or a new, improved laundry detergent. It's cruel, it's brutal, it's inhumane, and most people don't want it.
Abigail Van Buren
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Accept every blind date you can get, even with a girl who wears jeans. Maybe you can talk her out of them.
Abigail Van Buren
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Psychotherapy, unlike castor oil, which will work no matter how you get it down, is useless when forced on an uncooperative patient.
Abigail Van Buren