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If you are looking for a kindly, well-to-do older gentleman who is no longer interested in sex, take out an ad in The Wall Street Journal.

Abigail Van Buren

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More quotes by Abigail Van Buren

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Kids grow up awfully fast these days,she said. You should try to have a good relationship with your kids, no matter what they do.
Abigail Van Buren
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So yesterday you fell off the wagon? Or maybe you blew your diet? Or lost your temper and shot off your mouth? Well, that was yesterday. Today is a brand-new day with a clean slate, so forget yesterday!
Abigail Van Buren
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Women who miscalculate are called mothers.
Abigail Van Buren
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The purpose of life is to amount to something and have it make some difference that you lived at all.
Abigail Van Buren
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It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister.
Abigail Van Buren
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O, heavenly Father: we thank thee for food and remember the hungry. We thank thee for health and remember the sick. We thank thee for friends and remember the friendless. We thank thee for freedom and remember the enslaved. May these remembrances stir us to service, That thy gifts to us may be used for others. Amen.
Abigail Van Buren
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I can't think of a more potent combination than God and a good lawyer.
Abigail Van Buren
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I agree that marijuana laws are overdue for an overhaul. I also favor the medical use of marijuana -- if it's prescribed by a physician. I cannot understand why the federal government should interfere with the doctor-patient relationship, nor why it would ignore the will of a majority of voters who have legally approved such legislation.
Abigail Van Buren
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Religion, like water, may be free, but when they pipe it to you, you've got to help pay for the piping. And the piper.
Abigail Van Buren
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Maturity is the ability to do a job whether you're supervised or not finish a job once it's started carry money without spending it and the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.
Abigail Van Buren
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Kissing power is stronger than will power.
Abigail Van Buren
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Never give a golfer an ultimatum unless you're prepared to lose.
Abigail Van Buren
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If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires.
Abigail Van Buren
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The less you talk, the more you're listened to.
Abigail Van Buren
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It is almost impossible to throw dirt on someone without getting a little on yourself
Abigail Van Buren
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The lack of faith is not doubt. It is certainty.
Abigail Van Buren
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If you want a place in the sun, you have got to put up with a few blisters.
Abigail Van Buren
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If you don't value what you have, you're sure to lose it.
Abigail Van Buren
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In Biblical times, a man could have as many wives as he could afford. Just like today.
Abigail Van Buren
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You could move.' ---Dear Abby responds to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood.
Abigail Van Buren