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Religion, like water, may be free, but when they pipe it to you, you've got to help pay for the piping. And the piper.

Abigail Van Buren

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Abigail Van Buren
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More quotes by Abigail Van Buren

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SO the richest are often the poorest as this saying goes, Loneliness is the ultimate poverty
Abigail Van Buren
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Psychotherapy, unlike castor oil, which will work no matter how you get it down, is useless when forced on an uncooperative patient.
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Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to prove their love like a moose needs a hat rack.
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Never give a golfer an ultimatum unless you're prepared to lose.
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I agree that marijuana laws are overdue for an overhaul. I also favor the medical use of marijuana -- if it's prescribed by a physician. I cannot understand why the federal government should interfere with the doctor-patient relationship, nor why it would ignore the will of a majority of voters who have legally approved such legislation.
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It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister.
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How should they answer?
Abigail Van Buren
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In Biblical times, a man could have as many wives as he could afford. Just like today.
Abigail Van Buren
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Cruel words erode the self-esteem like the ocean eats away the shore.
Abigail Van Buren
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I can't think of a more potent combination than God and a good lawyer.
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It is totally unconscionable to subject defenseless animals to mutilation and death, just so a company can be the first to market a new shade of nail polish or a new, improved laundry detergent. It's cruel, it's brutal, it's inhumane, and most people don't want it.
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Accept every blind date you can get, even with a girl who wears jeans. Maybe you can talk her out of them.
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Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
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You are what you are when nobody is looking.
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If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires.
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If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.
Abigail Van Buren
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The lack of faith is not doubt. It is certainty.
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So yesterday you fell off the wagon? Or maybe you blew your diet? Or lost your temper and shot off your mouth? Well, that was yesterday. Today is a brand-new day with a clean slate, so forget yesterday!
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Fighting fire with fire only gets you ashes!
Abigail Van Buren
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True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.
Abigail Van Buren