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It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister.

Abigail Van Buren

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Abigail Van Buren
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More quotes by Abigail Van Buren

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Religion, like water, may be free, but when they pipe it to you, you've got to help pay for the piping. And the piper.
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Love is what enables us to bridge the gap of disappointment when others don't live up to the expectations we have of them.
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I can't think of a more potent combination than God and a good lawyer.
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You are what you are when nobody is looking.
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So yesterday you fell off the wagon? Or maybe you blew your diet? Or lost your temper and shot off your mouth? Well, that was yesterday. Today is a brand-new day with a clean slate, so forget yesterday!
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You could move.' ---Dear Abby responds to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood.
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Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
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The lack of faith is not doubt. It is certainty.
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True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.
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If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.
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Kids grow up awfully fast these days,she said. You should try to have a good relationship with your kids, no matter what they do.
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If you are looking for a kindly, well-to-do older gentleman who is no longer interested in sex, take out an ad in The Wall Street Journal.
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Many husbands today pitch in to help with household chores - it's called partnership.
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In Biblical times, a man could have as many wives as he could afford. Just like today.
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Fear less, hope more. Eat less, chew more. Talk less, say more. Hate less, love more.
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People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.
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Some People are more turned on by money than they are by love. In one respect they're alike. They're both wonderful as long as they last.
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Psychotherapy, unlike castor oil, which will work no matter how you get it down, is useless when forced on an uncooperative patient.
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Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to prove their love like a moose needs a hat rack.
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Loneliness is the ultimate poverty.
Abigail Van Buren