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The essence of humour is surprise that is why you laugh when you see a joke in Punch.
A. P. Herbert
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A. P. Herbert
Age: 81 †
Born: 1890
Born: September 24
Died: 1971
Died: November 11
Barrister
Novelist
Politician
Writer
Ashtead
Surrey
Alan Patrick Herbert
AP Herbert
APH
Alan P. Herbert
Sir Alan Patrick Herbert
Humour
Joke
Surprise
Jokes
Laugh
Essence
Laughing
Punch
More quotes by A. P. Herbert
If nobody said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth.
A. P. Herbert
People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.
A. P. Herbert
For I must write to The Times tonight, and save the world from sin.
A. P. Herbert
Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable.
A. P. Herbert
Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain.
A. P. Herbert
Harriet, Hi! Light of my eye! Come to the pictures and have a good cry, For it's jolly old Saturday, Mad-as-a-hatter-day, Nothing-much-matter-day-night!
A. P. Herbert
An act of God was defined as something which no reasonable man could have expected.
A. P. Herbert
The portions of a woman which appeal to man's depravity Are constructed with considerable care.
A. P. Herbert
As my poor father used to say In 1963, Once people start on all this Art Goodbye, moralitee! And what my father used to say Is good enough for me.
A. P. Herbert
This high official, all allow, is grossly overpaid there wasn't any Board, and now there isn't any Trade.
A. P. Herbert
The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.
A. P. Herbert
A man who has made up his mind on a given subject twenty-five years ago and continues to hold his political opinions after he has been proved to be wrong is a man of principle while he who from time to time adapts his opinions to the changing circumstances of life is an opportunist.
A. P. Herbert
An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
A. P. Herbert
My ball is in a bunch of fern, A jolly place to be An angry man is close astern- He waves his club at me. Well, let him wave-the sky is blue Go on, old ball, we are but two-We may be down in three, Or nine-or ten-or twenty-five-It matters not to be alive, Is good enough for me.
A. P. Herbert
A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.
A. P. Herbert
Don't let's go to the dogs tonight, For mother will be there.
A. P. Herbert
Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain. Fancy giving money to the Government! Nobody will see the stuff again. Well, they've not idea what money's for- Ten to one they'll start another war. I've heard a lot of silly things, but, Lor'! Fancy giving money to the Government!
A. P. Herbert
The whole Constitution has been erected upon the assumption that the King not only is capable of doing wrong but is more likely to do wrong than other men if he is given the chance.
A. P. Herbert
Let's stop somebody from doing something! Everybody does too much.
A. P. Herbert
Citizens who take it upon themselves to do unusual actions which attract the attention of the police should be careful to bring these actions into one of the recognized categories of crimes and offences, for it is intolerable that the police should be put to the pains of inventing reasons for finding them undesirable.
A. P. Herbert
