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A man who has made up his mind on a given subject twenty-five years ago and continues to hold his political opinions after he has been proved to be wrong is a man of principle while he who from time to time adapts his opinions to the changing circumstances of life is an opportunist.

A. P. Herbert

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A. P. Herbert
Age: 81 †
Born: 1890
Born: September 24
Died: 1971
Died: November 11
Barrister
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Alan Patrick Herbert
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Alan P. Herbert
Sir Alan Patrick Herbert
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The portions of a woman which appeal to man's depravity Are constructed with considerable care.
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This high official, all allow, is grossly overpaid there wasn't any Board, and now there isn't any Trade.
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There is no reason why a joke should not be appreciated more than once. Imagine how little good music there would be if, for example, a conductor refused to play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony on the ground that his audience might have heard it before.
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The whole Constitution has been erected upon the assumption that the King not only is capable of doing wrong but is more likely to do wrong than other men if he is given the chance.
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People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.
A. P. Herbert
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Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable.
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The essence of humour is surprise that is why you laugh when you see a joke in Punch.
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If nobody said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth.
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An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
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Justice should be cheap but judges expensive.
A. P. Herbert
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A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.
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Let's find out what everyone is doing, And then stop everyone from doing it.
A. P. Herbert
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Greenfly, it's difficult to see Why God, who made the rose, made thee.
A. P. Herbert
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Harriet, Hi! Light of my eye! Come to the pictures and have a good cry, For it's jolly old Saturday, Mad-as-a-hatter-day, Nothing-much-matter-day-night!
A. P. Herbert
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aven, I have given up smoking again!... God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps but the lungs are fine.
A. P. Herbert
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Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain.
A. P. Herbert
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My ball is in a bunch of fern, A jolly place to be An angry man is close astern- He waves his club at me. Well, let him wave-the sky is blue Go on, old ball, we are but two-We may be down in three, Or nine-or ten-or twenty-five-It matters not to be alive, Is good enough for me.
A. P. Herbert
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The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.
A. P. Herbert
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For I must write to The Times tonight, and save the world from sin.
A. P. Herbert
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Don't let's go to the dogs tonight, For mother will be there.
A. P. Herbert