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Citizens who take it upon themselves to do unusual actions which attract the attention of the police should be careful to bring these actions into one of the recognized categories of crimes and offences, for it is intolerable that the police should be put to the pains of inventing reasons for finding them undesirable.

A. P. Herbert

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A. P. Herbert
Age: 81 †
Born: 1890
Born: September 24
Died: 1971
Died: November 11
Barrister
Novelist
Politician
Writer
Ashtead
Surrey
Alan Patrick Herbert
AP Herbert
APH
Alan P. Herbert
Sir Alan Patrick Herbert
Pain
Reasons
Attract
Action
Actions
Crimes
Reason
Careful
Categories
Offences
Take
Citizens
Recognized
Undesirable
Crime
Unusual
Intolerable
Bring
Findings
Offence
Attention
Finding
Inventing
Upon
Police
Pains

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Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain.
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An act of God was defined as something which no reasonable man could have expected.
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aven, I have given up smoking again!... God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps but the lungs are fine.
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Greenfly, it's difficult to see Why God, who made the rose, made thee.
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If nobody said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth.
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The whole Constitution has been erected upon the assumption that the King not only is capable of doing wrong but is more likely to do wrong than other men if he is given the chance.
A. P. Herbert
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A man who has made up his mind on a given subject twenty-five years ago and continues to hold his political opinions after he has been proved to be wrong is a man of principle while he who from time to time adapts his opinions to the changing circumstances of life is an opportunist.
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As my poor father used to say In 1963, Once people start on all this Art Goodbye, moralitee! And what my father used to say Is good enough for me.
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An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
A. P. Herbert
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My ball is in a bunch of fern, A jolly place to be An angry man is close astern- He waves his club at me. Well, let him wave-the sky is blue Go on, old ball, we are but two-We may be down in three, Or nine-or ten-or twenty-five-It matters not to be alive, Is good enough for me.
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Don't let's go to the dogs tonight, For mother will be there.
A. P. Herbert
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Let's find out what everyone is doing, And then stop everyone from doing it.
A. P. Herbert
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Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain. Fancy giving money to the Government! Nobody will see the stuff again. Well, they've not idea what money's for- Ten to one they'll start another war. I've heard a lot of silly things, but, Lor'! Fancy giving money to the Government!
A. P. Herbert
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Let's stop somebody from doing something! Everybody does too much.
A. P. Herbert
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A dull speaker, like a plain woman, is credited with all the virtues, for we charitably suppose that a surface so unattractive must be compensated by interior blessings.
A. P. Herbert
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Justice should be cheap but judges expensive.
A. P. Herbert
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The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.
A. P. Herbert
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The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
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The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.
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The essence of humour is surprise that is why you laugh when you see a joke in Punch.
A. P. Herbert