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An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
A. P. Herbert
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A. P. Herbert
Age: 81 †
Born: 1890
Born: September 24
Died: 1971
Died: November 11
Barrister
Novelist
Politician
Writer
Ashtead
Surrey
Alan Patrick Herbert
AP Herbert
APH
Alan P. Herbert
Sir Alan Patrick Herbert
Except
Purpose
Enjoy
Never
Englishman
Enjoys
Englishmen
Humorous
Noble
More quotes by A. P. Herbert
An act of God was defined as something which no reasonable man could have expected.
A. P. Herbert
Greenfly, it's difficult to see Why God, who made the rose, made thee.
A. P. Herbert
aven, I have given up smoking again!... God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps but the lungs are fine.
A. P. Herbert
People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.
A. P. Herbert
The portions of a woman which appeal to man's depravity Are constructed with considerable care.
A. P. Herbert
The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.
A. P. Herbert
Let's find out what everyone is doing, And then stop everyone from doing it.
A. P. Herbert
There is no reason why a joke should not be appreciated more than once. Imagine how little good music there would be if, for example, a conductor refused to play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony on the ground that his audience might have heard it before.
A. P. Herbert
Justice should be cheap but judges expensive.
A. P. Herbert
A dull speaker, like a plain woman, is credited with all the virtues, for we charitably suppose that a surface so unattractive must be compensated by interior blessings.
A. P. Herbert
The whole Constitution has been erected upon the assumption that the King not only is capable of doing wrong but is more likely to do wrong than other men if he is given the chance.
A. P. Herbert
Citizens who take it upon themselves to do unusual actions which attract the attention of the police should be careful to bring these actions into one of the recognized categories of crimes and offences, for it is intolerable that the police should be put to the pains of inventing reasons for finding them undesirable.
A. P. Herbert
Don't let's go to the dogs tonight, For mother will be there.
A. P. Herbert
Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain.
A. P. Herbert
If nobody said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth.
A. P. Herbert
A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.
A. P. Herbert
Let's stop somebody from doing something! Everybody does too much.
A. P. Herbert
For I must write to The Times tonight, and save the world from sin.
A. P. Herbert
The essence of humour is surprise that is why you laugh when you see a joke in Punch.
A. P. Herbert
The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.
A. P. Herbert
