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Let's find out what everyone is doing, And then stop everyone from doing it.

A. P. Herbert

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A. P. Herbert
Age: 81 †
Born: 1890
Born: September 24
Died: 1971
Died: November 11
Barrister
Novelist
Politician
Writer
Ashtead
Surrey
Alan Patrick Herbert
AP Herbert
APH
Alan P. Herbert
Sir Alan Patrick Herbert
Luck
Stop
Everyone
Find

More quotes by A. P. Herbert

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Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain. Fancy giving money to the Government! Nobody will see the stuff again. Well, they've not idea what money's for- Ten to one they'll start another war. I've heard a lot of silly things, but, Lor'! Fancy giving money to the Government!
A. P. Herbert
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aven, I have given up smoking again!... God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps but the lungs are fine.
A. P. Herbert
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This high official, all allow, is grossly overpaid there wasn't any Board, and now there isn't any Trade.
A. P. Herbert
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My ball is in a bunch of fern, A jolly place to be An angry man is close astern- He waves his club at me. Well, let him wave-the sky is blue Go on, old ball, we are but two-We may be down in three, Or nine-or ten-or twenty-five-It matters not to be alive, Is good enough for me.
A. P. Herbert
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Justice should be cheap but judges expensive.
A. P. Herbert
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The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
A. P. Herbert
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Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable.
A. P. Herbert
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Citizens who take it upon themselves to do unusual actions which attract the attention of the police should be careful to bring these actions into one of the recognized categories of crimes and offences, for it is intolerable that the police should be put to the pains of inventing reasons for finding them undesirable.
A. P. Herbert
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There is no reason why a joke should not be appreciated more than once. Imagine how little good music there would be if, for example, a conductor refused to play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony on the ground that his audience might have heard it before.
A. P. Herbert
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As my poor father used to say In 1963, Once people start on all this Art Goodbye, moralitee! And what my father used to say Is good enough for me.
A. P. Herbert
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A dull speaker, like a plain woman, is credited with all the virtues, for we charitably suppose that a surface so unattractive must be compensated by interior blessings.
A. P. Herbert
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The portions of a woman which appeal to man's depravity Are constructed with considerable care.
A. P. Herbert
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Greenfly, it's difficult to see Why God, who made the rose, made thee.
A. P. Herbert
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For I must write to The Times tonight, and save the world from sin.
A. P. Herbert
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Harriet, Hi! Light of my eye! Come to the pictures and have a good cry, For it's jolly old Saturday, Mad-as-a-hatter-day, Nothing-much-matter-day-night!
A. P. Herbert
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Don't let's go to the dogs tonight, For mother will be there.
A. P. Herbert
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Let's stop somebody from doing something! Everybody does too much.
A. P. Herbert
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Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain.
A. P. Herbert
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The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.
A. P. Herbert
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The essence of humour is surprise that is why you laugh when you see a joke in Punch.
A. P. Herbert