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Don't let's go to the dogs tonight, For mother will be there.

A. P. Herbert

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A. P. Herbert
Age: 81 †
Born: 1890
Born: September 24
Died: 1971
Died: November 11
Barrister
Novelist
Politician
Writer
Ashtead
Surrey
Alan Patrick Herbert
AP Herbert
APH
Alan P. Herbert
Sir Alan Patrick Herbert
Motherhood
Dogs
Tonight
Dog
Mother

More quotes by A. P. Herbert

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An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
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A dull speaker, like a plain woman, is credited with all the virtues, for we charitably suppose that a surface so unattractive must be compensated by interior blessings.
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The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
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As my poor father used to say In 1963, Once people start on all this Art Goodbye, moralitee! And what my father used to say Is good enough for me.
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Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain.
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An act of God was defined as something which no reasonable man could have expected.
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The essence of humour is surprise that is why you laugh when you see a joke in Punch.
A. P. Herbert
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Justice should be cheap but judges expensive.
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There is no reason why a joke should not be appreciated more than once. Imagine how little good music there would be if, for example, a conductor refused to play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony on the ground that his audience might have heard it before.
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This high official, all allow, is grossly overpaid there wasn't any Board, and now there isn't any Trade.
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The whole Constitution has been erected upon the assumption that the King not only is capable of doing wrong but is more likely to do wrong than other men if he is given the chance.
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The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.
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A man who has made up his mind on a given subject twenty-five years ago and continues to hold his political opinions after he has been proved to be wrong is a man of principle while he who from time to time adapts his opinions to the changing circumstances of life is an opportunist.
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aven, I have given up smoking again!... God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps but the lungs are fine.
A. P. Herbert
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A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.
A. P. Herbert
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The portions of a woman which appeal to man's depravity Are constructed with considerable care.
A. P. Herbert
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Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable.
A. P. Herbert
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Let's find out what everyone is doing, And then stop everyone from doing it.
A. P. Herbert
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If nobody said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth.
A. P. Herbert
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Greenfly, it's difficult to see Why God, who made the rose, made thee.
A. P. Herbert