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Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable.

A. P. Herbert

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A. P. Herbert
Age: 81 †
Born: 1890
Born: September 24
Died: 1971
Died: November 11
Barrister
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Ashtead
Surrey
Alan Patrick Herbert
AP Herbert
APH
Alan P. Herbert
Sir Alan Patrick Herbert
May
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Blasphemous
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Game
Category
Mitigate
Without
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Provocation
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Word
Torture
Golfing
Men
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Legally
Excusable
Faces
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Golf
Golfers
Fourteenth

More quotes by A. P. Herbert

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The whole Constitution has been erected upon the assumption that the King not only is capable of doing wrong but is more likely to do wrong than other men if he is given the chance.
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The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.
A. P. Herbert
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A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.
A. P. Herbert
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An act of God was defined as something which no reasonable man could have expected.
A. P. Herbert
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The essence of humour is surprise that is why you laugh when you see a joke in Punch.
A. P. Herbert
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Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain. Fancy giving money to the Government! Nobody will see the stuff again. Well, they've not idea what money's for- Ten to one they'll start another war. I've heard a lot of silly things, but, Lor'! Fancy giving money to the Government!
A. P. Herbert
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Greenfly, it's difficult to see Why God, who made the rose, made thee.
A. P. Herbert
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The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
A. P. Herbert
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People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.
A. P. Herbert
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My ball is in a bunch of fern, A jolly place to be An angry man is close astern- He waves his club at me. Well, let him wave-the sky is blue Go on, old ball, we are but two-We may be down in three, Or nine-or ten-or twenty-five-It matters not to be alive, Is good enough for me.
A. P. Herbert
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An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
A. P. Herbert
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The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.
A. P. Herbert
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Don't let's go to the dogs tonight, For mother will be there.
A. P. Herbert
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A dull speaker, like a plain woman, is credited with all the virtues, for we charitably suppose that a surface so unattractive must be compensated by interior blessings.
A. P. Herbert
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Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain.
A. P. Herbert
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Citizens who take it upon themselves to do unusual actions which attract the attention of the police should be careful to bring these actions into one of the recognized categories of crimes and offences, for it is intolerable that the police should be put to the pains of inventing reasons for finding them undesirable.
A. P. Herbert
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There is no reason why a joke should not be appreciated more than once. Imagine how little good music there would be if, for example, a conductor refused to play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony on the ground that his audience might have heard it before.
A. P. Herbert
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Let's find out what everyone is doing, And then stop everyone from doing it.
A. P. Herbert
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This high official, all allow, is grossly overpaid there wasn't any Board, and now there isn't any Trade.
A. P. Herbert
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As my poor father used to say In 1963, Once people start on all this Art Goodbye, moralitee! And what my father used to say Is good enough for me.
A. P. Herbert