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Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain.
A. P. Herbert
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A. P. Herbert
Age: 81 †
Born: 1890
Born: September 24
Died: 1971
Died: November 11
Barrister
Novelist
Politician
Writer
Ashtead
Surrey
Alan Patrick Herbert
AP Herbert
APH
Alan P. Herbert
Sir Alan Patrick Herbert
Might
Well
Drain
Giving
Drains
Fancy
Business
Money
Government
Wells
More quotes by A. P. Herbert
The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
A. P. Herbert
People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.
A. P. Herbert
Don't let's go to the dogs tonight, For mother will be there.
A. P. Herbert
An act of God was defined as something which no reasonable man could have expected.
A. P. Herbert
A man who has made up his mind on a given subject twenty-five years ago and continues to hold his political opinions after he has been proved to be wrong is a man of principle while he who from time to time adapts his opinions to the changing circumstances of life is an opportunist.
A. P. Herbert
The essence of humour is surprise that is why you laugh when you see a joke in Punch.
A. P. Herbert
Let's find out what everyone is doing, And then stop everyone from doing it.
A. P. Herbert
An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
A. P. Herbert
There is no reason why a joke should not be appreciated more than once. Imagine how little good music there would be if, for example, a conductor refused to play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony on the ground that his audience might have heard it before.
A. P. Herbert
A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.
A. P. Herbert
The portions of a woman which appeal to man's depravity Are constructed with considerable care.
A. P. Herbert
For I must write to The Times tonight, and save the world from sin.
A. P. Herbert
aven, I have given up smoking again!... God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps but the lungs are fine.
A. P. Herbert
A dull speaker, like a plain woman, is credited with all the virtues, for we charitably suppose that a surface so unattractive must be compensated by interior blessings.
A. P. Herbert
Let's stop somebody from doing something! Everybody does too much.
A. P. Herbert
Harriet, Hi! Light of my eye! Come to the pictures and have a good cry, For it's jolly old Saturday, Mad-as-a-hatter-day, Nothing-much-matter-day-night!
A. P. Herbert
As my poor father used to say In 1963, Once people start on all this Art Goodbye, moralitee! And what my father used to say Is good enough for me.
A. P. Herbert
Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain. Fancy giving money to the Government! Nobody will see the stuff again. Well, they've not idea what money's for- Ten to one they'll start another war. I've heard a lot of silly things, but, Lor'! Fancy giving money to the Government!
A. P. Herbert
The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.
A. P. Herbert
The whole Constitution has been erected upon the assumption that the King not only is capable of doing wrong but is more likely to do wrong than other men if he is given the chance.
A. P. Herbert
