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A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.
A. P. Herbert
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A. P. Herbert
Age: 81 †
Born: 1890
Born: September 24
Died: 1971
Died: November 11
Barrister
Novelist
Politician
Writer
Ashtead
Surrey
Alan Patrick Herbert
AP Herbert
APH
Alan P. Herbert
Sir Alan Patrick Herbert
Sausage
Brows
Thinks
High
Someone
Looks
Thinking
Brow
Picasso
More quotes by A. P. Herbert
Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain.
A. P. Herbert
The essence of humour is surprise that is why you laugh when you see a joke in Punch.
A. P. Herbert
The portions of a woman which appeal to man's depravity Are constructed with considerable care.
A. P. Herbert
Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain. Fancy giving money to the Government! Nobody will see the stuff again. Well, they've not idea what money's for- Ten to one they'll start another war. I've heard a lot of silly things, but, Lor'! Fancy giving money to the Government!
A. P. Herbert
The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.
A. P. Herbert
As my poor father used to say In 1963, Once people start on all this Art Goodbye, moralitee! And what my father used to say Is good enough for me.
A. P. Herbert
There is no reason why a joke should not be appreciated more than once. Imagine how little good music there would be if, for example, a conductor refused to play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony on the ground that his audience might have heard it before.
A. P. Herbert
Harriet, Hi! Light of my eye! Come to the pictures and have a good cry, For it's jolly old Saturday, Mad-as-a-hatter-day, Nothing-much-matter-day-night!
A. P. Herbert
A man who has made up his mind on a given subject twenty-five years ago and continues to hold his political opinions after he has been proved to be wrong is a man of principle while he who from time to time adapts his opinions to the changing circumstances of life is an opportunist.
A. P. Herbert
Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable.
A. P. Herbert
Let's find out what everyone is doing, And then stop everyone from doing it.
A. P. Herbert
People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.
A. P. Herbert
An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
A. P. Herbert
The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
A. P. Herbert
Justice should be cheap but judges expensive.
A. P. Herbert
aven, I have given up smoking again!... God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps but the lungs are fine.
A. P. Herbert
For I must write to The Times tonight, and save the world from sin.
A. P. Herbert
My ball is in a bunch of fern, A jolly place to be An angry man is close astern- He waves his club at me. Well, let him wave-the sky is blue Go on, old ball, we are but two-We may be down in three, Or nine-or ten-or twenty-five-It matters not to be alive, Is good enough for me.
A. P. Herbert
If nobody said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth.
A. P. Herbert
Greenfly, it's difficult to see Why God, who made the rose, made thee.
A. P. Herbert
